25 and change.

What is being 25 supposed to feel like?

Being 25 feels challenging.

In a year from now, I would be married.

In a year from now, I would have a home of my own.

In a year from now, I would hopefully be gainfully employed.

In a year from now, I hope to be happier.

In a year from now, I hope to be stronger.

In a year from now, I hope to be a better version of me.

"God can use our wrong motives for good purposes."

This phrase has been resounding with me the past couple of weeks.

I want to leave so badly and in a bid to do so, have been giving myself the wrong "justification" for leaving.

But you know they say, God can use our wrong motives for good purposes. In this vein, will my wrong motivations ultimately be for His purposes? And if so, can I justify myself for my wrong motives?

What gives us our faith? And where does our faith come from?

For me, it has always been easy. Born into a Christian household and being a fourth generation Christian meant that I didn't have those questions of "Does god exists?", if so, "whose god is the true god?". 

It was easy for my faith to dictate the way I lived my life, the choices that I made, and the way I responded to difficult situations. 

When life wasn't going easy, God was my strength and refuge. When life was going great, I gave thanks for His grace and mercy. I was always cognisant of the fact that God held my every moment. 

But the question is, what if I didn't have God in my life? Would my life have panned out so differently? What about those who never have a personal God and Saviour in their lives? Would they feel lost? Would they feel like they are the master of their own destinies? 

My belief is as strong as their disbelief. If I were, by God's grace and mercy, never to fall away from my faith, would they then not ever come to recognise my God as their personal Lord and Saviour?